No Bullshit

Dear Diary,

Ok… so I’m putting this out there, for everyone to see. I feel vulnerable doing this, but I’m embracing every moment of each letter I type. So here goes…
 
I want to fall in love! I’m ready.
 
Though I don’t believe that I will ever find the person that I will grow old with, I’m ready to ride with you until the wheels fall off. But before the wheels fall off, know that I will maintain this ride to the best of my ability: frequent oil changes, checking the transmission fluid, premium gas… and if none of that works, we’ll call a mechanic.
If you don’t understand the metaphor there, this is your red light, and it’s not turning green. So just stop here.
In layman’s terms, I want to feel a deep and reciprocated love with someone, maybe with you, until we just aren’t in love anymore. However long that may be… 20 weeks or 20 years. And in that time, I will be the best partner to you, if you will be the best partner to me. No bullshit.
 
I’m ready…
So I should tell you some of my good qualities, yeah?
(ugh, now this suddenly feels like an interview)
Communication and open mindedness are my 2 biggest strengths. I’m probably the most open minded person that I know. In general, I’m pretty much down for whatever.
Communication wise, I could go on and on about this. I’ve made perfecting my communication skills my #1 priority over the last few years, after ending a relationship with someone who used to ask my thoughts and then get upset when I would say them. Eventually, I just didn’t speak about my thoughts anymore, and when we parted ways, I had to learn how to communicate them again. Not only that, but to be confident in what I say, so that no one could break me down like that again. Don’t worry, it’s not a scar or trigger or anything to be concerned about… I appreciate what I went through, because it made my communication skills even better than what they were before.
I over communicate, and that’s not a bad thing. I am not a ghoster, I don’t believe in that. I will tell you that I’m not interested, and I will tell you when I am. Either way, you’ll know where you stand with me.
If I am interested, however, I’m all in! I miss that feeling of being all in with someone, planning surprises, “good morning” texts, getting butterflies when I see their name on the caller ID. I enjoy catering to my person… cooking for them, making their lunch for work, keeping the house in order, etc. Acts of service is the love language that I’m the best at giving. If you’re still reading this, quick, send me a message and guess which one is my love language, so that I know you’ve made it this far (I am waiting).
 
I have no debt!!!!
 
I love riddles, brain teasers, and IQ tests.
Also love animals, all animals. Elephants are my favorite!
As you may have gathered at this point, I am very much a free spirit. And although the wild calls to me, I also have goals. I love to wander amongst the trees listening to folk Americana, but I also work my ass off to reach my goals and keep my business running. I’m best suited for someone who is the same (maybe another entrepreneur), or someone who is (just a little) more grounded or structured. Not too structured/type A, that you’re doing the same boring routine every day… or not too free spirited that you have no direction or goals. A happy medium works, let’s build an empire!!
 
Oh! Speaking of the same boring routine, the only kind of vanilla I like is butter pecan, and I don’t even think that counts, lol. And if you don’t know what that metaphor means, this is definitelyyyyyy your red light, detour, “Do not pass go”. Just stop. No vanilla!!!!
I’m ready…
 
And you should know that I am an equal opportunist: I date all races, of all people.
If you fit the above so far, you’ve got a chance, lol.
 
Must have a sense of humor. I am an aspiring comedian. And that was a joke… for the most part, lol. I was going to perform stand up in the spring of 2020, but like everything else in 2020… should I say more?
 
I am a proud mama of an amazing teenager who is an A and B student!! Do I want more? Nope! But if you have kids, I love it! Want to adopt? Let’s do it!! As much as I want to see my genes running around here, there are too many kids out there who need homes.
Besides, I don’t think my body will bounce back as quickly as it did the first time, lol.
I’m ready…
 
And, this is important too, I’m a huuuuge foodie. I love to cook and eat. I will eat anything, the more unusual, the better. If you don’t know how to cook, or you don’t like being in the kitchen, or you don’t want to learn, or you’re a picky eater… this is where we end. No exceptions.
 
Must be willing to travel, camp (in a tent in the wild), go on road trips, learn about other cultures. Huge bonus if you have the ability to travel for weeks at a time.
Now that I’ve given you all the good stuff, I must also tell you about the bad stuff. I mean, if I’m gonna be real, I’m gonna be real, right?
Here’s the first one, I am not a big cuddler. Sorry, not my thing. Maybe if watching a movie, but once it’s time for bed, I’m rolling over to my side. I can’t sleep inhaling your exhale. Lol, I can’t!
 
I probably won’t care for you if you’re sick. This is a big one. I’m not talking about cancer or diarreah, I’m talking about fucking covid, lmao!! Or the cold or the flu… anything contagious, nope! But, I will hire some cute little thing for you, and make her wear something short and revealing while she serves you soup.
We both can’t be sick. Or wait… maybe we can and we’ll hire 2 cuties 🙂
I’m indecisive, and I rarely order at a restaurant. 9 times out of 10, I let the server pick something for me. But it’s fine, I like the surprise when they bring it out.
Most times when I need to make a decision, I flip a coin.
 
And I get gassy. I’ve always been gassy. I should probably drink more water.
 
I’m ready…
 
But I don’t kiss on the first date. Probably not the 2nd either. I’m not in a rush, and I don’t fucking know you yet. Actually, this isn’t really a bad thing, unless you’re into kissing strangers, lol.
 
Ok, now I’m reaching here, lol. The truth is, I can’t really think of any more bad things. Chances are, you can think of some on your own over time (like, I don’t get my nails done, or wear heels all the time), but I feel like the important things (communication, finances, long term goals, etc), I’ve got covered with an A+.
 
So, that’s not even me in a nutshell. There’s so much more to me, and I’m ready to share it with someone who is deserving of all that I have to give, and all that I want to give. Not at all in a rush, but very much ready.
Are you?

3 Comments

  1. I’m still reading… VERY interested in your journey 🤗 Your love language is Acts of service and quality time from what I’ve read thus far 🥰

  2. Love, Peace and Hair Grease Nate ~ Thank you for taking the time out to find your happiness. Definitely need more people like you showing up as you do. May Alice here from IG ~ when I saw you go live I was like “this woman looks familiar”. Than I realized I’d come across some of your videos previously about your storage unit and I thought it was HILARIOUS. I’m an Artist & Lesbian myself living auspiciously in Denver, Colorado. I just felt inclined to send you some encouraging words and some positive energy. You seemed like you could use it. Hope everything else is going Divinely where ever you are and that the Universe continues to conspire in your favor. Take care and stay BlesssT. Namasté

  3. Thank you kindly for sharing your journey. Thank you for the laughter, joy and reminder to live life free and unafraid. Do take good care of yourself whenever you may roam. May God protect you and bless all of your righteous endeavors. Please continue sharing and being a blessing to others.

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